Love is hard. (Like Scalia's ax-helve for grading blogs)

     In Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake, Nikhil goes through three separate relationships: Ruth, Maxine, and Moushumi. These relationships range from seriousness due to Nikhil’s growing maturity throughout the novel. Each relationship is a testament to how much Nikhil grows as a character and how he becomes more in touch with his personal identity.
     The big beginning: Ruth. When he first meets Ruth, Nikhil had never been in a serious relationship. When he met her on the train they immediately struck up conversation. Ruth was a way for Nikhil to become someone new. She had not previously known his as Gogol, nor was she a Bengali. This was his opportunity to try out the American lifestyle that he so desperately wanted. However, being the young couple they were, when they were separated from each other their love faded. They were not together long enough to have enough memories to look back on when they missed each other at night. The extension of Ruth’s stay in England sealed the deal for the death of their relationship. While intense in the beginning, it was not meant to last. When dealing with a long distance relationship like that, there needs to be a large enough base to look back on. To love. So once you are together again, it seems as if no time as passed at all. This was the first failure of Nikhil in the love department. Both Nikhil and Ruth fell out of love.
     The sequel: Maxine, or Max for short. This was the true American. Owning a townhouse in the suburbs, having a vacation property in another state. Nikhil was still looking for an escape from his Bengali heritage, he did not hate it or anything to that extreme, he just refused to take part in traditions that he felt were not a part of him. So he instead participated in American traditions with Max. This worked for a while. He was happy and she was happy. However, with the death of his father, Nikhil changed. He did not grow to hate Max or anything to that effect, but he did begin to grow out of love for her. She didn’t like how she was uninvited to many of Ganguli family events and this began to turn her off of Nikhil. His father’s death had turned him cold to love. This could be because he subconsciously blamed Max for taking away time that could have been spent with Ashoke before his death, but the novel never explicitly says why Nikhil falls out of love with Max. This time is was just Nikhil to fall out of love.
     The final act: Moushumi. This one was a Bengali. After his father’s death, Nikhil had a newfound love and admiration for his family and culture. While still not wanting to fully partake in all the traditions that being a Bengali entailed, he loved being a part of his family again. His mother had pushed him to meet up with Moushumi, to his displeasure he did. However, to his surprise he actually really liked being with her. This relationship got really serious. So serious it turned into a marriage. A somewhat traditional Bengali wedding. Both the bride and groom were wearing traditional Bengali wedding dress, and the food was Indian. This wedding was the culmination of Nikhil’s journey of trying to prevent himself from partaking in his Bengali heritage. This time Nikhil was very happy but his lover was secretly not. Nikhil kept telling himself that everything was fine and that the two of them were happy together. However, much to his dismay, he finds out that Moushumi had been having an affair with a long lost lover of hers. His journey had reached rock bottom. Finally, it was just Moushumi to fall out of love.
     At first it was both, then just Nikhil, then his lover. His love life was integral to the growing of his character, as he became increasingly aware of his own identity. Was he a Bengali or an American? Everything in this book comes back to that. When is it right to abandon those you love for something else you love? Nikhil has to deal with that his entire life. Is it right to live the way you want, but leaving your parent’s wishes behind?